How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize