dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
