Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My dick has a subreddit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
