Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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