Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he shaved USA in his pubs
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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