So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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