If that was your dad, he is hot
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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