but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you never un-have a 4some
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
