Where did you get a picture of my penis
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
