Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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