someone threw a dead crab at me
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
