Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
