the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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