I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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