I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize