Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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