What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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