THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
