The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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