omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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