Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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