Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize