I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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