I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
