i just sent this text using only my big toe
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
