How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
you never un-have a 4some
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
