Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
