Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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