dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't make out with my wife yet
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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