I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
