Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he thought i was a dude.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
