i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
