He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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