My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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