Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
