In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
