Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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