is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
