He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
