He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
