for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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