I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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