for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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