I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize