awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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