I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
