These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize