he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
