This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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