so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All the doctor said was why
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
