I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
