omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
