I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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