she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
