I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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