sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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