careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My dick has a subreddit
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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