I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
