I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i believe in u and ur pee
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
