it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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