It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
