The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
