even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
