I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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