Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize