It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
